Get Lost (in the run)

How do we sometimes get tricked into focussing on the less important things in life?! Take running, for example. I usually prefer to run outside, alone with my thoughts (and sometimes prayers). I'm not a gifted runner, but it feels like running to me and I love what comes of it. But somehow, I get distracted by the loooooong term goal of someday qualifying for the Boston Marathon--as do thousands of other runners. When this happens, the focus is then on the timer of the Garmin and less on the beauty of the route. Our hearts pound faster and our breath is gasping, but we don't hear the splash of the puddle or the crunch of the leaves beneath our feet. We come home having run the same distance, but the run itself may seem somewhat less fulfilling. Getting lost in the run allows our minds to wander to far off places and become inspired and return safely to it's normal existence. For me, this is the reward for the effort.

Since life really is like a run, here's another thought. Are there days when we are so focussed on completing more things in a less amount of time, that we lose sight of the beauty of the day itself? Do we forget the life experience as our focus shifts to the checkmarks on the list of things to do? Yesterday Dave and Benny sat under a big umbrella on the LoveSac and watched Kipper the Dog. Certainly, Dave had other things to do. Positively, Benny didn't need another TV show before he got going for the day. But together they enjoyed time bundled up together at Benny's lead, and I got a fun picture out of it. Dave got his reports finished, and Benny eventually got dressed and had breakfast.

When I look back on my life, I want to see a steady pace of fulfilling and thrilling events. I want to FEEL every turn in the route, every tiny moment, every big adventure. None of us will likely remember how many times we cleaned the toilets or emptied the dishwasher. But we might remember a late night walk or a hike with our daughter, or finger-painting with a toddler, or a long aimless drive with our love, or a secret service done for someone in need. We need not be fast paced to know our life's run, but each step by beautiful step, will qualify us for bigger things. So... I'll run in the morning at sunrise and feel the beauty of hope. I'll run at sunset and know the calm of the hour. And some day, after miles and miles of experiences, I'll find the power of the sun in my steps and I'll "qualify."

My Message Through Bubbles and Fingerprints

My favorite time of year comes twice a year... lucky me! Sitting as a family in a semi-cluttered house filled with the aroma of cookies and waffles while watching the LDS General Conference is probably the most rewarding, calming, fulfilling, rejuvenating, and grounding experience I have the honor of knowing. I can honestly say, even if I weren't a member of this church, I believe I would truly benefit by doing the very same thing. The messages are for everyone, after all, and who couldn't benefit from a little guidance, direction, and anchoring during turbulent times such as these?

This year, particularly, was something I'll never forget. On Saturday, we could barely see the screen through all the bubbles it took to keep 2 year-old Benny quiet enough to hear the words, and when the sun hit the TV just right, the ONLY thing we could see were the hundreds of fingerprints smeared in just the right/wrong spots. Regardless, the spirit was strong as Dania and Tori had their journals open to take notes of the treasures making their way through the mess and into our hearts. That priceless image reminded me that busy-ness in our lives can cloud our ultimate goals like bubbles and fingerprints clouded our view of the speakers... BUT, there is always a way to find what we're looking for. The blessings for good efforts and real intents will always come!

I walked away this time wanting to do better, serve better, give better. I felt myself disappearing, sort of, and caring less about my concerns, my struggles, my worries, my goals, myself. Conference is good for that. The simple reminder that there are bigger and better things than the hand-wringing and nail-biting that often goes on (at least in my life), is just what I needed at that moment. We don't need to sweat the small stuff, do we!? There are hearts to touch, loads to lift, smiles to find. There are tears to wipe and time to share and miracles to witness. There is love to give.

Elder Holland said that somewhere among all of the talks given this conference, there would be something, even if it's just one thing, meant just for each of us. This was meant for me.

The Rhythm of the Run

131 Days until the Utah Valley Marathon. I'm starting to focus more seriously, especially after today's long run with the both of the girls. Well relatively speaking, it wasn't really that long, only 9 miles. This is going to be an interesting ride, to say the least. While watching the girls run youthfully and effortlessly along side me, I heard (loud and clear) my aches and pains scream "YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR THIS!" But then I remembered my own mom who was, at that very moment, completing a half marathon in Arizona at 70 years old. I'm not too old for this.

I remembered why I started running about ten and a half years ago. I remembered how putting one foot in front of the other brought me further away from stresses and closer to clarity of mind, a peaceful soul, and eventually a rested heart. I remembered that the gift to me was not that I was talented or fast, but rather that I could run with purpose. I thought of the first time I ran with the sun rising around every corner, the first time I prayed on a run, the first time I knew I wasn't alone. I recalled my first 18, 19, and 20 milers... and coming home on hot Virginia summer mornings, collapsing on the lawn, and letting the girls (then 5 and 7) spray me down with the garden hose.

10 years, 5000 more feet in altitude, and 60 fewer degrees later, I'm still running. I still love to pray when I run, I still love the promise a quiet sunrise brings, and I still put one foot in front of the other finding peace in the rhythm of the run. Why the marathon event, if the joy comes from the training runs? For me the marathon event allows me to celebrate the blessing of the run with others. The marathon is a traveling party, really, where people come to find closure to months of hard work, encourage others, and simply finish what they started.

I've driven the route of my scheduled marathon many times. I'm training mentally and physically for miles 6-8 and 20-26.2. I know the course. I know when I will hurt, and when I will be tempted to walk, when I will want to cry. I know when I'll remember to pray, quiet my mind, and really listen. I hope to accomplish a time goal at this race. I hope to qualify for Boston, or, at the very least break 4 hours. I hope that real focus, for the first time, will pay off. I hope at the finish line, I will find something I've been looking for, for over a decade.

And then what? Then begins a new chapter and decade of running in my life, and I'll likely find the very same gift of peace and clarity then as I do now. The steady stepping will carry me through seasons of packed snow, muddy puddles, hot roads, crunchy leaves. I'll hear in my mind, hymns to the beat of the run, answers to prayers, and sometimes nothing at all. Dusty trails, paved roads, and even the treadmill will continue to yield a brighter life experience in general if I am willing to always take one more step. It doesn't have to be fast or strong. Just one more step.

My happy time today? Remembering the blessings that come through effort in general.

My sad time? Remembering that the greater the blessing, the greater the required effort.

Progress on #38!!!

Nowhere near finished, but I am making significant strides in one of this year's goals. #38 on my "Bucket List." Just for fun, I thought I'd share some of the things I've done in regard to organization in my home. I have no brilliant ideas, nothing new or fancy, and certainly nothing that costs much in the way of money. But some tried and true tricks that are working wonders in our home.

Project #1: My shower. I invested in a shower caddy to keep everything organized and to make it easier to do a quick wipe-down after use. Words can not express my love for this. I wish I had more thumbs to give it, but for now, it's two thumbs up. You can get it at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

Project #2: The garage. Space above the car has been put to good use, with an overhead hanging rack. We store items there that we use less often, but use more than we would like to go to the basement or attic. We actually have space for more, and are considering purchasing another. Well worth it, and can be found at Home Depot.

Project #3: Kitchen cupboards. I do not like cluttered messes of lids. I use this dish rack above my ovens on one side of the pots cupboard, to keep lids easily accessible and somewhat organized. Obviously, right now many of my lids are in the dishwasher.

Also in the kitchen, I use plastic cereal containers both for freshness as well as organization. It seems to me that random cereal boxes when left in their original box, end up getting spilt, smashed, and somehow lost in the pantry. Using containers seems to demand order and consistency when they are returned. Not to mention, the cereal stays fresher.

Project #4: Medicine cabinet. Ours was a very unorganized, disaster of a collection of old, expired meds mixed with this and that. Once I cleaned things out, I put in a "lazy susan" to store things used more often so we can easily spin through and find it when we need it. Extra space in the cupboard stores other first-aid and emergency equipment like flashlights, skin care, etc...

Project #5: Entry. First, I started with the coat closet. It was awful. After I gutted it, I simply added 3 baskets on the shelf above the coats for running items I like to grab quickly on my way out, winter hats and mittens, and misc. items. I also added a couple of organizing cubbies below the coats which are stacked on the floor for winter boots, snow pants, etc.

We brought a small dresser into the entry which has great drawer space for misc. items to be stored. I use these drawers for Benny's arts and crafts, puzzles, and other materials, but others might use space like this for purses, keys, or whatever.

Project #6: Clutter. Benny has a lot of toys that ALWAYS end up in the family room. Sometimes I need a quick place to stash them when people come over, if I don't have time to be running up and down the stairs to put them away. We had a chest that was once just for decorative use, but now it's filled with these migrating toys. I really like to keep it in front of the fireplace, but, during the winter WE are usually in front of the fireplace. Now we tuck it away behind the chair, and it doesn't cost us any more space. Benny even helps "cleannup" now, he likes to latch the lock.

Project #7: More clutter. We don't really have a great room for toys, so Benny's room is really his only playroom (except for when he brings his toys downstairs...). I had to figure out two things here. One, was how to make good use of the corner in his room where the roof cuts off a sizable chunk of standing space. Obviously, I chose to put two end tables side by side. This is his puzzle and "quiet corner" now.

The second issue? How to organize the books and toys. A simple solution was found at the grocery store. Baskets for toys, organized by type, and books left out. Benny knows which baskets are for which toys, and where on the shelf each basket belongs. I really believe that even at just 2 years old, people prefer structure and organization when given the option.

Project #8: The laundry room. Dreaded place, once, as it was too small to do what needed to be done in there. And while it hasn't grown any, I can work better with the washer and dryer stacked. Also, there is a place to keep the ironing board out at all times for a quick press if needed. I store a divided hamper in there for towels, sheets, and dishrags. The hamper is easily wheeled out if I need to iron, and nicely tucked in when I don't.

Project #9: Pictures. I have never been a real fan of the collage frame until recently. Michaels has (and often at 60% off), collage frames like none other. They are beautiful, in my opinion, and allow me to display the moments I never want to forget. Below are a couple examples, and a close up so you can see how each picture isn't just matted within the frame, it is framed within the frame!

Project #10: Toddler proofing. I love having a little one around, but sometimes I just have to draw the line of when and where it's okay to go (aka make messes)! Hence, the slide-locks on the doors to places like the pantry, laundry room, DVD closet, etc... So far so good, he hasn't bothered to go to the effort of pulling up a chair to unlock.

Also, Benny uses the "public" bathroom downstairs. I picked up this stool for his hand-washing. He can move it around on his own, it goes with the room, and most importantly, it has a cubby! The top step lifts and underneath is a nice little place for misc. bathroom necessities. I love secret hiding places for random storage!

Last but not least, I tucked shampoos, soaps, razors, and other dangerous things of interest to a toddler into a basket and store them under the sink behind a latched door. While I was at it, I painted the walls and made some curtains. My bathroom has a whole new look now. It was fun to do a quick and rewarding facelift on the bathroom, after lots of organizational work!

I still have a looooong way to go before I'm done, but I am pleased with the progress so far, to organize my home better. I can honestly say, that things appear to be STAYING organized as well. When the family can clearly see where things belong, they make an effort to keep it orderly. I should have done this years ago! I feel addicted, however, and am not sure I'll ever want to stop sorting, dumping, cleaning, painting, filing, labeling, preparing, mending...

"Organize yourselves, prepare every needful thing"

Reality Check

Today Tori's school, Maeser, held their annual "Winterfest." For three weeks in January each student gets to choose a subject to study full-time and then ultimately display their works at this event. Tori chose "Meditation and Photography" and created an incredibly beautiful and meaningful picture book that included some insightful thoughts on reality that were truly calming to me. I so appreciated her message.

Tori is right. Reality is often over-looked as we shoot for the picture perfect life, and work for greatness in this way or that. But perfection does not have to come all at once. We are all different, and it would do us good to stop and appreciate the different stages of life we are each in, share the valuable experiences we have had, and take in the deeper insights others may have to offer us. I must admit, generally speaking I'd like to portray mine as a cartoon-ized, song-filled, Disney-ish life. But the truth is, those bold colors and perfectly outlined images are often muted with feelings, emotions, and even pains of reality that life yields. My life-scene, though not always balanced with bouncy, bubbly music and perfectly genius conversation, is real and wonderful things are coming from it.

This makes me think of when I was a little girl and my Mom would tuck me into bed with two questions. "What was your happy time today?" and "What was your sad time?" I never liked the second question. I would have liked to have hidden everyone's sadness and heartaches and go on believing we all lived in some kind of Disneyland where every day had a happy ending. Overly sensitive, I was (and am)... but there is wisdom and power in acknowledging reality and accepting it. I believe that deep within the quiet and still spaces of our hearts and minds, grow the strong and very real roots of character, strength, power, love, selflessness, and peace.

So... my happy time for today? This gentle reminder. And some dreaming of future happy days with Dania ;o) And my sad time? The realization that I have not always welcomed the opportunity to exist and accept myself and/or others in the "now" and instead have spent an awful lot of time pushing toward goals--some meaningful, some meaningless. Wasted time. Thank goodness for the blessing of a new day ahead, bearing more moments to "be" in, and experience with the amazing people in my life.