Reality Check

Today Tori's school, Maeser, held their annual "Winterfest." For three weeks in January each student gets to choose a subject to study full-time and then ultimately display their works at this event. Tori chose "Meditation and Photography" and created an incredibly beautiful and meaningful picture book that included some insightful thoughts on reality that were truly calming to me. I so appreciated her message.

Tori is right. Reality is often over-looked as we shoot for the picture perfect life, and work for greatness in this way or that. But perfection does not have to come all at once. We are all different, and it would do us good to stop and appreciate the different stages of life we are each in, share the valuable experiences we have had, and take in the deeper insights others may have to offer us. I must admit, generally speaking I'd like to portray mine as a cartoon-ized, song-filled, Disney-ish life. But the truth is, those bold colors and perfectly outlined images are often muted with feelings, emotions, and even pains of reality that life yields. My life-scene, though not always balanced with bouncy, bubbly music and perfectly genius conversation, is real and wonderful things are coming from it.

This makes me think of when I was a little girl and my Mom would tuck me into bed with two questions. "What was your happy time today?" and "What was your sad time?" I never liked the second question. I would have liked to have hidden everyone's sadness and heartaches and go on believing we all lived in some kind of Disneyland where every day had a happy ending. Overly sensitive, I was (and am)... but there is wisdom and power in acknowledging reality and accepting it. I believe that deep within the quiet and still spaces of our hearts and minds, grow the strong and very real roots of character, strength, power, love, selflessness, and peace.

So... my happy time for today? This gentle reminder. And some dreaming of future happy days with Dania ;o) And my sad time? The realization that I have not always welcomed the opportunity to exist and accept myself and/or others in the "now" and instead have spent an awful lot of time pushing toward goals--some meaningful, some meaningless. Wasted time. Thank goodness for the blessing of a new day ahead, bearing more moments to "be" in, and experience with the amazing people in my life.

Moments

While playing hide and seek again with Benny this morning I wished I could freeze time. Looking into his excited eyes when mine met his, I remembered the moments like this, savored with the girls when they were small-- now they are dreaming of building memories with children of their own. The motivation to keep timeless experiences more, and rush less grows inside of me the older I get. Look deeper, connect longer, create beauty, know peace, love others... something whispers.

Goal oriented? Yes I am, but not so much that I'll forget the "now" in my days. I found this posted on facebook today, a great reminder of how to create a life with no regrets... enjoying the smallest and most meaningful gifts in life. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhOUaszMGvQ&feature=player_embedded

Having it all together

I saw an adorable wall hanging today at the grocery store. "Family--we may not have it all together, but together we have it all!" Some days are better than others, for sure. There are days when juggling two high school schedules, two careers, and a two year-old can be complicated and I may not always feel in complete control of my surroundings.

BUT, at the end of the day when one by one each of the family members come home, and things to-do are checked, and concerts and meets and events have been attended, and bedtime routines have begun, and the lights are low, and the prayers are said, and the songs begin... I remember. My dream life of being a mom is real. It's really now it's really here and I really love it. Since I was a kid, I dreamed of the day I would get to bring children into my world, and in turn be an active part of theirs.

I love my one-on-one time with each of the kids, and of course Dave. Dave and I drive a lot. What better place than Utah for incredible scenery that NEVER gets old (if only WE would never get old!) I walk with Dania often, our typical route goes from home, around the temple, and back. A little over 6 miles. Amazingly heartfelt and unforgettable moments have come on this loop. Tori and I enjoy movies or nature in various forms. We really like to hike or jog trails together. We don't have to talk too much, but I cherish the quiet moments my heart feels close to hers. As is appropriate for this age, Benny and I play the 2 year-old version of Hide and Seek. I love his squeal and total thrill when our eyes meet around the corner.

So while our lives may seem to go in all directions during the day, and we may not have it "all-together" all the time, it is indeed true that when we are together, we have it all.

A New Start, and An Old Promise.

New starts at the New Year, and old promises... this is such a great season. Everyone needs a chance to choose to change in some way, start fresh, and at the same time remember the one thing that will never change: the love our Father in Heaven has for us and the encouragement He offers as we set out to do the best we can in our pursuits. What a blessing we have in His promise to always be with us. I will rely on His consistency and strength this year, just as I have every year.

Specifically, as I set out to complete numbers 1, 38, and 39 on my "Bucket List" (see tab on side if you're curious). This will take a little bravery as well as planning, patience, late nights, and early mornings when the house is quiet. But I really want to complete all three of these items this year. After all, it's just as has been said before, we regret most, that which we didn't do...

So here I go, best foot forward. Updates on my progress are sure to follow!

Family Pictures!!

If we ever thought coordinating life with teenagers and toddlers was difficult, this week confirmed it when we attempted a family photo session with Lindsey Orton. It is difficult to believe that she got as many quality shots as she did, considering the crazy combination that was certain to be reflected in our pictures.

Much to our surprise (and gratitude), a screaming two year old and 3 females who could barely walk in the heels we wore were not the highlights that stood out in the treasures we sorted through this morning. Reminders in the images that these sisters truly do love each other deeply, a husband and wife who share lovingly "the dream," a sweet Daddy and son relationship, and Mom and daughters friendship will be forever valued. How blessed we should feel, and how appropriate to be reminded of such eternal treasures over Thanksgiving weekend.

Looking through the pictures that will soon be on our wall, it felt like time stopped and eternity overwhelmed the heart. There is nothing more satisfying or fulfilling than to look into the eyes of my husband, daughters, and son and knowing that we are forever there, for one another; to love and encourage, to uplift and rejoice with, endure and enjoy. Simply put, families really are forever. No doubt about it, family love and support and unity reaches throughout all time and into the deepest unending elements of existence.

Thank you Lindsey Orton, for the patience, professionalism, and talent you shared with our family, and for creating these keepsakes for us to look back on always!