3,000 Miles Away, As the Crow Flies

Received an email from the wife of one of the leaders on Tori's service trip to Ecuador. Their first day was a thrilling success of fun--a great prelude to some serious work for the next couple of weeks. As the crow flies, they are approximately 3,000 miles away. I couldn't help but think of how the distance and the difference in surroundings, may be impacting this girl who by nature, would choose to sit quietly in her loft reading or writing stories about people and places and experiences much like the reality she is quickly coming to know. 

They spent their first hours flying through the air via 13 different zip lines plunging them down canyon jungles forwards, backwards, and "butterfly style." They had the option of either jumping off 50 foot cliffs into a deep river, or descending down a 50 foot vertical ladder, to then find and enjoy a sky ride with a view spanning the incredible terrain on which they had just been playing. Foreign surroundings, people, language, and adventure... all makings, I'm sure for an incredible journal entry :)

The next day was their first day in the orphanage. No word yet, on what they found there. As much as I dislike the inability to communicate with my girl, I am so glad for the chance she has to be out there doing this. If not an "out of body experience," it is certainly an "out of personality experience" destined to stretch her beyond her comfort zone and into an area that will shape and direct her life. 

I wonder how church was for them yesterday--what the building was like, how the local people may have welcomed the group, whether or not they understood the messages being taught, and if the spirit was able to break through that language barrier. I wonder how the children will receive them at the orphanage today, and how family night in various homes of local people will be. I wonder how their visit to the temple will feel to the girls collectively as well as individually. 

I read about the history of the temple, and have no doubt that something special awaits them - likely, the blessing for their weeks of service to those children. They say: 

The temple, labeled "the most beautiful building in Ecuador" by members and nonmembers alike, stands majestically in a peaceful hillside setting in northern Guayaquil. During a visit to the construction site, President Gordon B. Hinckley recounted the story of the site's selection. He said that several years earlier, he was taken to another site under consideration for the temple, but he "didn't feel well about the site that had been chosen. We visited the site and…the trucks that came up the hill had to gun their engines to make it up and the noise was just terrible. It just would not do. So we looked around…and then drove up a little two-track road to this spot. There was a guard here cooking over a little fire. I looked out over the city and had a feeling…as clear as anything that this was the site for the temple. We checked to see if the property was for sale. We found that it might be, and so we negotiated the purchase."¹

During the public open house, visitors came at an average rate of 1,800 everyday, except for Saturdays when attendance dramatically increased to 5,400 on June 26 and to 15,200 on July 3. Volunteers eagerly participated in cleaning the temple including members of the Guayaquil Ecuador Pascuales Stake, one of the poorest areas in the city. A group of 50 of these Saints came to the temple at 11:00 p.m. one night and worked with sincere enthusiasm until well after midnight.²

The day after the dedicatory sessions, the temple was opened for service. Otavalan members, among the most faithful in Ecuador, attended the first ordinance sessions. The indigenous Otavalans wear a distinctive garb: brethren with a single braid, dress hat, white shirt, dark cloak, and white pants; and sisters with gold necklaces, stitched white blouses, and dark skirts—often carrying babies on their backs. The two stakes made the nearly 10-hour bus trip to attend the temple dedication, nearly filling the temple is one session.³

^{I expect to hear from Tori once this week and then not again until her return on August 4th. Looking forward, with much anticipation, to her report.} 

Fit By Forty

I suppose I have to say (or write) a goal out loud in order to feel like it's real. So here it is. I have a birthday coming up in October and I'll be 40. Fabulous 40. And by then, I WILL be fit (ish). I may not be in the best shape of my life, but I will have reached a major mile marker, and will be ready to pick things up a notch in regard to activity level.

Since I was a kid, an active, athletic, and energetic life was important to me. I grew up on a trampoline, and competed in gymnastics throughout high school--then coached it for 12 years after that. I have run quite a few marathons and half marathons. I love to hike, walk, and bike. My 71 year old mother is still running half marathons, I guess you could say it's in my blood. 

However, training for and running downhill races for 10 years destroyed my hip. The osteoarthritis had done extensive damage, the labrum was torn, the cartilage was shot, the ligaments were torn, and the cup had deep grooves in it where the ball had been grinding bone-on-bone. For years, I didn't know what was wrong. I figured running had taken a cumulative effect, and kept thinking if I just took time off, it would heal itself. Months went by. Years went by. I was too stiff and sore to do much at all - but I couldn't give running up completely, so would run an event here and there without training. When friends invited me to run another Ragnar Relay, I knew I had to figure out what was wrong, before I could commit. So then I learned about the condition I had, and would be living with for the rest of my life. 

A few months later, I had a new hip. Now it has been almost four months with it and four months of recovery and extremely limited exercising after several years of activity levels decreasing slow but sure. Don't get me wrong, I am very strong. I was home from the hospital in two days, walking without crutches before the first week was up, and was driving by four weeks. By 6 weeks I was walking around my favorite reservoir - 4 miles. My recovery has been nothing short of miraculous in my opinion. It had to be... no time to be sitting around. 

Anyway, I have three months to lose the pounds accumulated as a result of a less active lifestyle, and am glad to be feeling strong enough to get back into mild workouts. I CAN do this. In three months I'll be almost seven months past surgery and should have permission from my surgeon to then begin a more vigorous exercise program. What a fabulous birthday - a new start, new energy, new strength. 

My longer-term goal is to keep up the strength and cardiovascular training through December, in order to be strong enough to begin something new in January. Thinking about Crossfit... does anyone have experience with this? I've heard really great things, but wonder if this is a little unrealistic for me. Docs say swimming, biking, and the eliptical are also good options.  Until then, I'm eating right and keeping active. My Body Bugg will be attached to my arm wherever I go, and I'll remember I'm on my way back to what makes me happy--energy in life, places to go, and people to celebrate health with. I welcome any thoughts or suggestions on goal-oriented workout programs. 

Happy and healthy wishes for all!

Beside Religion and Family, My Top Recommendation for Youth

Couldn't miss the girls more, when they leave home for good things. Couldn't be happier that they choose to serve. Tori-Laine just left this morning for her trip to Equador to work in an orphanage for two and a half weeks. I will have no contact with her, with the exception of a single email at some point during the trip. We don't know what kind of facility she will be staying in, she doesn't really speak the local language, and she doesn't know a single person in the group. How can I be okay with sending my 17 year old daughter to a third world country with complete strangers? 

The video above is Dania's experience with the same HEFY (Humanitarian Experience For Youth) Organization a couple years back. She went to Fiji to build toilets in a village without plumbing. Her trip to Polynesia wasn't as glorious as one might expect a Fijian experience to be, but it was beneficial, uplifting, and life changing for the volunteers as much as the locals. 

The trip fee is upwards of $2,500 but both of the girls were able to raise enough funds to cover 100% of the cost. So in short, they had (are having) an international and life-changing experience at no cost. The kids come home with an incredible perspective on loving and serving their neighbor. They stand up on their own two feet and make a real difference for real people that they come to know well, and shed a few tears for, during good-byes. Many leave much of what they had brought in their suitcase, with the locals--and wish they could leave more. But all take home, a bigger heart, an open mind, and a better perspective. 

Two cheers for youth leaders everywhere, that haven't given up on kids. I believe there is a special place in Heaven for all of them :) And might I suggest to parents of teenagers everywhere, take a look at this link: http://www.hefy.org/ 

One Year in New England, and All Is Well

Ahhh, New England. 

What can I say about a place that drowns one in peace and serenity and feels like a step back in time? Alright, maybe less so during the hurricanes, floods, power-outages by the weeks, and killer snowstorms (literally). But overall, I'd say New England must be one of the nation's best kept secrets. The last 12 months have been filled with a roller-coaster ride of experiences that our family could not and would not have known anywhere else. 

The roads here look like a bowl of spaghetti. The terrain is green and rocky, flowing with rivers, and filled with wildlife. We have seen everything from bears to birds enjoying the property, and we are grateful they share their home with us. We have felt spiritual growth and physical trials. We have stepped out of our comfort zone, and into a world of new people with different accents and expectations and perspectives. Variety is the word of the year, and we are pleased to find it in all things.

Since our arrival we have seen New York City and Boston, Broadway plays and the Atlantic Ocean, historic sights and the latest medical technologies, enormous mansions and Amish towns. We like to get our ice cream from a place that has been making it since the 1700's. Our post office is a restored barn, at least that old. New England doesn't feel so new, but it's home for us and it has a special place in our hearts. So every day Dave makes the commute from the city to our little town where the birds wake us with the rising sun and the crickets and fireflies provide our evening entertainment. And we soak it up, every bit, every day.

Happy Halloween!!

Okay, must admit here, I have never really been into Halloween. I do not enjoy scary movies and I don't appreciate gore. Having said that, I think it's darling when kids choose something they want to be in real life, for their Halloween costume. Benny wants to be a fireman, of course. Who wouldn't? Everything firetruck here, especially when we're in need of a bribery, ehem, "encouragement" tool. Benny didn't want to come out of the McDonald's play area, so "Benny, should we go find a firetruck?" It was time for potty-training, so "Benny, you get to wear the fireman's hat and blow the horn when you go potty!" And when it's time for bed? You got it, firetruck jammies. Can't complain at all though, who doesn't want their son to aim for hero status? Here's to the day we get to dream big. Happy Halloween, all!

The Wilds of Connecticut

"Welcome to the wilds of Connecticut!" one person told me. This is our neighbor, Baloo, he is one of the bears that live in our area. I suppose you know you're living rural when you see more wildlife than humans. At first Baloo was exciting and we took pictures and admired him from afar. He is big, seems majestic, and unusual. Then he became a nuisance. He tore the lock and trim off the shed door and took our trash. He poops on our lawn. He leaves just enough fear in our hearts to not let Benny fully enjoy the large yard we have. Baloo is not welcome here, and I can think of a great place for a bearskin rug... or two or three.

Having said that, we do appreciate the beauty of this place. We truly live in the middle of the woods where the stars are breathtaking, the wildlife is amazing, the nature is calming, and the privacy is comforting. Home feels like Heaven here. It's not fancy, it's just a haven from the world. It was our only option, if we were going to live in Canton, and I feel blessed to know that it was saved for us. The fireplace is set to go, for that first cozy night of hot chocolate and cider. I feel it in my bones, it's not too far away!

The mountains aren't nearly as rugged and steep as they are in the Rockies, but the woods are. We're not high in altitude but we're high in seasons. The rivers are wider and calmer and the lakes are pristine. The trails beckon, the attractions call, the adventure awaits. We have only just begun. NYC is incredible, Boston is exciting, Rhode Island is dreamy. The ocean seems easy-going, but the weather is definitely opinionated. History surrounds us while the future lies at our toes. Ready, set, go, we're stepping ahead.

The "wilds of Connecticut" are just that - wild. As my mom keeps saying, it's like another country here, but somehow we find our sense of home sweet home the minute we pull up our (roughly) 1/3 mile gravel driveway and walk through the doors which are open to all.

We've Moved!

From the rugged Rocky Mountains to the peaceful towns of New England. Our family made a change that has shocked us more than we ever dreamed. In a good way. Moves in the past have been simple, dare I say "easy"compared this 2500 mile adventure, but the adventure continues day by day and we are blessed to be a part of the Canton community in Connecticut. In the 3 months that we've been here we have done well in transition and adjustment to new surroundings, culture, and accents, and... roads.

The house is on 14 acres, but only a couple are cleared (but mowing a couple acres is all we need!). We are in the middle of the woods, complete with multiple bear, dear, turkey, woodchucks, bobcats, coyotes, and any other New England wild animal you can think of. It took a while to adjust to that, but we have now named our visitors, and enjoy taking pictures of them. The ward is enormous, geographically, and small in numbers. Visiting teaching is a whole new kind of assignment out here - I drive about an hour each way, for one visit--but the rewards seem that much greater!

As for each of us in the adjustment:

Dave stepped right into his career in the insurance industry, a huge change from academia to say the least, and appears to be successful and content in his assignments and experiences there. It's a new rhythm and routine, new colleagues, and new opportunities. Future's looking bright for him, and the kids and I are proud of his progress.

I've jumped into my new territory with PARAGON, so far so good. Lots of potentials out there, and it's still early in the game. With several seminars and conventions coming up, I'm hopeful for a fantastic first year here. Otherwise, it's all about settling into the new home with the family, establishing a good routine for the kids, and finding a little time to set personal goals as well.

Dania is off to BYU but has already been back for a visit here. We saw a Broadway show in NYC, went to Rhode Island, Cape Cod, and Boston for flights. She has her new room all set up, and knows it awaits her. We are forever looking forward to the next visit, but are thrilled to Skype with her weekly. She is doing better than ever, off on her own, we couldn't me more pleased with her college experience so far.

Tori is incredible. I don't know of another 16-year old that could move across the country with as much grace and positive attitude as she has. She's jumped right into yet another school curriculum (3rd in 3 years), cross country team, and the youth at church. She is working hard toward college right now, it's a big year for her where that goes, and we are very proud of her hard work and amazing efforts. ACT this month, cross country season now, stake youth committee all year, and oh yeah... great grades. I don't know how she does it all.

Benny is a big boy and now goes to preschool. He just turned 3, is potty trained, sleeps in a big bed, and as usual, keeps us hopping. He has adjusted very very well, thankfully, and appears to be thriving in this new community. His favorite thing to do here is to jump on the tramp while Dave mows the lawn for hours on end.

All in all, all is well. Enough about the change, and on to real life at home here in Connecticut!

Graduation

"And then what?" someone once taught me to ask, when facing life's pivotal points. 4 months ago Dania graduated high school. I held it together during the ceremony, much to my surprise. Until their entire class stood up and did a flash-mob dance for the whole audience. What a fun way to give back to the people who had been supporting them for the last 18 or so years. While I watched them move in unison, I looked for familiar faces. Kids who had been in our home countless times, kids I had photographed at races or concerts or awards ceremonies. I saw them all. Smiling, celebrating, moving on. I found Dania again. It hit me. This was the end of the life I had worked so hard to keep together, and I would somehow have to find it in my heart to let her go and support her in her efforts to stretch her wings and fly solo. And then what?

Now she attends BYU and I stalk her on facebook daily. We Skype. We text. We call. I see her growing into the independent person she thought she was since kindergarten, bless her heart, and sure enough she is incredible. She's taking hard classes and acing tests and making friends and setting her bar high. She's preparing for the future and making herself known. And then what? Where will this path lead her? Where will this path lead our family?

There is a void in our home, that is only partially filled during our Sunday afternoon Skype sessions. We miss her deeply. Even with another teenager and toddler in the home, it is significantly quieter around here. But in that calm, it seems right, gosh darn it, and I can't deny it. It's right to be proud of her decisions and it's right to celebrate with her the fantastic consequences of good hard effort and it's right to go to her room and sniff her pillows every now-and-again just to feel her close. It's right that she's gone and it's right that she will come back. It makes me think of the eternal plan for us and how Heavenly Father must feel while we're away. I'm sure with my family here on Earth, Heaven is significantly less chaotic and more orderly. I doubt my heavenly parents sniff my celestial pillow but I know they watch me closely, and as I send an occasional something to Dania while she's away, I know they send things into my life to make it more interesting and bearable.

So here's to looking back and taking comfort. Here's to enjoying the moment. And here's to looking ahead and wondering where our path will take us next. A very belated hats (with four corners) off to you, Dania, for choosing your path well. You're an inspiration to watch. We are proud to be your parents and family. We miss you. We look forward to November 23rd for a quick Thanksgiving visit, and even more to Christmas break. Keep looking ahead, setting your bar, and taking those steps.

Big Boy Ben (and the golden Birthday)

4 years ago we gave up. Literally. I got a job, sold the Suburban, bought a Jetta, lost my weight, and moved on. 3 years ago, we couldn't believe our eyes. Red and wrinkly, soft and warm, and straight from Heaven. 2 years ago he walked and talked and filled our home and days and lives with immeasurable joy. 1 year ago we couldn't keep up with him - a tornado of energy, happiness, innocence. Today, our big boy Ben turns 3. More than ever we celebrate his presence in our family and the glorious chaos and noise and mess that he makes. We celebrate the miracle of life and answers to prayer and yes, even God's plan and timing in all things. More than ever, we celebrate Ben--his personality, his smile, his wit, his sweetness, his comedy, his strength, his voice, his laughter. Happy birthday to Ben, our constant reminder that "Sunday will come."

Wordless Wednesday

A Graduation Kiss

Just Askin'...

As is often noted by many people, running parallels life in countless ways. One of my main struggles with my running is that it takes me a good 3 miles to warm up and get into the rhythm of the run. Sometimes this is 75% of the day's run... then it's over!

This weekend I attended my daughter's seminary graduation--could not believe it. It seems like we just got into the rhythm of our relationship--we understand each other--we LIKE each other--we do things and respect things and dream things together. And now she's going off to BYU to pursue her own goals and dreams and life. We were just getting warmed up.

So my question is... how do we warm up faster at the start of the run or the relationship or the life, in order to minimize the shuffle-stepping and maximize the long strides and thrilling distance? Not complaining here, it's exciting to see the new phases of life coming; but is there a secret out there, that makes the most of the whole experience? How can we warm up before hand and hit the ground running? Just askin'... and seriously hoping for answers.

Wordless Wednesday

Sleeping the Same

Wordless Wednesday

THE MIRACLE TO US

Living In the Moment

Mother's Day. Of course today I thought of my mother and the relationship I am blessed to have with her. She is my inspiration and my friend. She taught me to want to be a mother by example, and by this same example, she has taught me to enjoy motherhood, to love, to serve, to be lost in the lives of my children. I love my mom and am so proud to be her daughter.

I was reminded today as I became absorbed in the image of my own kids playing in the family room, the beauty and benefits of living "in the moment." To learn from, but let go of the past and to allow my experiences as they are, be beautiful and new. Benny enjoys almost everything. He sees his toys, his family, his friends untainted by hurt feelings or past grudges or wishes for what things might be in the future--better, shinier, nicer. He connects with them now.

Sometimes when he is upset, Tori looks into his eyes and sings about speckled frogs and mama ducks without a hint of boredom or monotony. Those frogs and ducks almost seem to appear on her arm as one by one they "go off to play." Benny is with her all the way and enveloped by the calming influence of the rhythm of the song and play interaction with his big sister. He follows her lead with the hand movements and forgets his concerns.

Dania sits down on the patio in back and brings out the colored sidewalk chalk and draws with him. He copies her as best as he can. She takes a pink, he takes a pink, she takes a green, he takes a green. They don't talk about what will happen if the chalk gets all used up or if there are better colors out there, or the time it the chalk got rained on and there was nothing left to color with... They just color and create.

It's so easy to get wrapped up in the future, or past for that matter, and forget about the now. Are things wonderful this week? Today? This hour? This moment? Yes they are. I have people to serve and family to love and a home to keep. And right now, I'm glad for motherhood in general. For the chance to learn from my own kids as well as my mentor mother. Right now I will make and keep memories that I will recall at the right time, down the road. Right now I will go with life and see the beauty all around.

Sometimes You're the Statistician

This is Dave (and Benny). To me, Dave is Mr. Wonderful. Dependable, loyal, true, loving, generous, forgiving, and ever-so-patient. He is a statistician, which means, he is a "numbers guy." By day he teaches graduate level statistics and drives students crazy. But on the weekends, he teaches the 15 year old kids in sunday school at church. Actually, he shares this job with another man who is, in fact, a magician by trade. Literally.

The two co-teachers usually alternate weeks conducting class. In case you didn't know, kids this age are particularly difficult to reign in when it is time to focus on a lesson at church. Dave's teaching partner has a few "tricks up his sleeve" and can usually catch their attention with some sort of optical illusion. Kind of a tough act to follow, I'd say. While Dave may have been tempted from time to time to woo the teenage crowd with calculus or the statistical significances of this or that, he has held his tongue... And steady but sure, he simply plugs along with the lesson of the week.

Sometimes we may see eye-catching beauty or talent of people that cross our paths in our daily life and wonder if our simple plugging along is getting the job done well enough. We may not shine or have anything to show but heartfelt effort and a steady pace. Sometimes fashion takes a back seat and reality is front and center.

Yesterday I took Dania to Nordstrom to get a pair of shoes for Senior Ball. I knew I wasn't exactly put together, but it didn't dawn on me, how much of a mess I was, until the salesman commented on my old running shirt. The knees in my jeans were also stained and dirty from cleaning and my hair was falling out of my ponytail. Initially I was embarrassed but it didn't last long. I remembered Marjorie Pay Hinkley's quote below, and I was okay. May we all show up to our most important event eye-catchingly dirty.

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."
— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Wordless Wednesday

A new friend joined our family pictures with Lindsey Orton!

Our New Adventure!!

From what I gathered on TV, the northeast region of the United States was filled with fast-moving, quick-speaking, cold, abrasive people. Then we took a trip to Connecticut. As it turns out, the area is not all about NYC and crime and public transportation! In fact, this area has to be the most picturesque, peaceful, quiet, serene area I've ever come to know. I didn't want to leave. I loved the people. And now, after 7 months of serious research, travel, waiting, networking, imagining, interviewing, negotiating, and praying... it appears as though our family will soon be making a move from Provo, Utah to Canton, Connecticut. Dave has been teaching at BYU for 15 years and as much as we adore this little bubble from the world, he is excited to have been offered what seems to be, the moon. We're still working out details but I'll put it this way, I'm planning the biggest yard sale I've ever hosted.

2000 miles seems to be world away, but we are all excited for the opportunity to experience something new and different and beautiful. We've been to the area, the church, the schools, the stores, the community. We've run on their trails and eaten in their restaurants. We've made good friends and spent time in their homes. We've shopped in their shops and driven their byways. Hey, Tori even enjoyed a 3 day trip with the youth there. How could I have ever have been so intimidated by the idea? The people in CT have been incredibly welcoming and warm. Such as I have never seen before. We've been facebooked, emailed, texted, and phoned by them... and it wasn't even official until just this week.

Family is in the west. All of them. We will truly miss being able to just hop in the car for a day's drive and attend a big event or visit on a whim. This has been our greatest pull away from the decision. But it will be a day's flight, however, just like it is a day's drive is now. And there are blogs and facebook and picture texts and cell phones and skype. And there is still the amazing love which always has and always will, bind us to our eternal family.

I'm so happy for Dave, who has worked hard in his career to get to this point, excited for Dania, as she'll be coming "home" to the east coast like she has always dreamed of, thrilled for Tori to have an adventurous last two years in high school, and glad for Benny to start his life as big-boy where they really value education (yes... he would start part-time this fall, in a pre-K program!). And me? I look forward to radiant autumns, endless exploring, and getting involved in the community wherever possible. Canton, Connecticut, here we come!

Get Lost (in the run)

How do we sometimes get tricked into focussing on the less important things in life?! Take running, for example. I usually prefer to run outside, alone with my thoughts (and sometimes prayers). I'm not a gifted runner, but it feels like running to me and I love what comes of it. But somehow, I get distracted by the loooooong term goal of someday qualifying for the Boston Marathon--as do thousands of other runners. When this happens, the focus is then on the timer of the Garmin and less on the beauty of the route. Our hearts pound faster and our breath is gasping, but we don't hear the splash of the puddle or the crunch of the leaves beneath our feet. We come home having run the same distance, but the run itself may seem somewhat less fulfilling. Getting lost in the run allows our minds to wander to far off places and become inspired and return safely to it's normal existence. For me, this is the reward for the effort.

Since life really is like a run, here's another thought. Are there days when we are so focussed on completing more things in a less amount of time, that we lose sight of the beauty of the day itself? Do we forget the life experience as our focus shifts to the checkmarks on the list of things to do? Yesterday Dave and Benny sat under a big umbrella on the LoveSac and watched Kipper the Dog. Certainly, Dave had other things to do. Positively, Benny didn't need another TV show before he got going for the day. But together they enjoyed time bundled up together at Benny's lead, and I got a fun picture out of it. Dave got his reports finished, and Benny eventually got dressed and had breakfast.

When I look back on my life, I want to see a steady pace of fulfilling and thrilling events. I want to FEEL every turn in the route, every tiny moment, every big adventure. None of us will likely remember how many times we cleaned the toilets or emptied the dishwasher. But we might remember a late night walk or a hike with our daughter, or finger-painting with a toddler, or a long aimless drive with our love, or a secret service done for someone in need. We need not be fast paced to know our life's run, but each step by beautiful step, will qualify us for bigger things. So... I'll run in the morning at sunrise and feel the beauty of hope. I'll run at sunset and know the calm of the hour. And some day, after miles and miles of experiences, I'll find the power of the sun in my steps and I'll "qualify."

My Message Through Bubbles and Fingerprints

My favorite time of year comes twice a year... lucky me! Sitting as a family in a semi-cluttered house filled with the aroma of cookies and waffles while watching the LDS General Conference is probably the most rewarding, calming, fulfilling, rejuvenating, and grounding experience I have the honor of knowing. I can honestly say, even if I weren't a member of this church, I believe I would truly benefit by doing the very same thing. The messages are for everyone, after all, and who couldn't benefit from a little guidance, direction, and anchoring during turbulent times such as these?

This year, particularly, was something I'll never forget. On Saturday, we could barely see the screen through all the bubbles it took to keep 2 year-old Benny quiet enough to hear the words, and when the sun hit the TV just right, the ONLY thing we could see were the hundreds of fingerprints smeared in just the right/wrong spots. Regardless, the spirit was strong as Dania and Tori had their journals open to take notes of the treasures making their way through the mess and into our hearts. That priceless image reminded me that busy-ness in our lives can cloud our ultimate goals like bubbles and fingerprints clouded our view of the speakers... BUT, there is always a way to find what we're looking for. The blessings for good efforts and real intents will always come!

I walked away this time wanting to do better, serve better, give better. I felt myself disappearing, sort of, and caring less about my concerns, my struggles, my worries, my goals, myself. Conference is good for that. The simple reminder that there are bigger and better things than the hand-wringing and nail-biting that often goes on (at least in my life), is just what I needed at that moment. We don't need to sweat the small stuff, do we!? There are hearts to touch, loads to lift, smiles to find. There are tears to wipe and time to share and miracles to witness. There is love to give.

Elder Holland said that somewhere among all of the talks given this conference, there would be something, even if it's just one thing, meant just for each of us. This was meant for me.

The Rhythm of the Run

131 Days until the Utah Valley Marathon. I'm starting to focus more seriously, especially after today's long run with the both of the girls. Well relatively speaking, it wasn't really that long, only 9 miles. This is going to be an interesting ride, to say the least. While watching the girls run youthfully and effortlessly along side me, I heard (loud and clear) my aches and pains scream "YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR THIS!" But then I remembered my own mom who was, at that very moment, completing a half marathon in Arizona at 70 years old. I'm not too old for this.

I remembered why I started running about ten and a half years ago. I remembered how putting one foot in front of the other brought me further away from stresses and closer to clarity of mind, a peaceful soul, and eventually a rested heart. I remembered that the gift to me was not that I was talented or fast, but rather that I could run with purpose. I thought of the first time I ran with the sun rising around every corner, the first time I prayed on a run, the first time I knew I wasn't alone. I recalled my first 18, 19, and 20 milers... and coming home on hot Virginia summer mornings, collapsing on the lawn, and letting the girls (then 5 and 7) spray me down with the garden hose.

10 years, 5000 more feet in altitude, and 60 fewer degrees later, I'm still running. I still love to pray when I run, I still love the promise a quiet sunrise brings, and I still put one foot in front of the other finding peace in the rhythm of the run. Why the marathon event, if the joy comes from the training runs? For me the marathon event allows me to celebrate the blessing of the run with others. The marathon is a traveling party, really, where people come to find closure to months of hard work, encourage others, and simply finish what they started.

I've driven the route of my scheduled marathon many times. I'm training mentally and physically for miles 6-8 and 20-26.2. I know the course. I know when I will hurt, and when I will be tempted to walk, when I will want to cry. I know when I'll remember to pray, quiet my mind, and really listen. I hope to accomplish a time goal at this race. I hope to qualify for Boston, or, at the very least break 4 hours. I hope that real focus, for the first time, will pay off. I hope at the finish line, I will find something I've been looking for, for over a decade.

And then what? Then begins a new chapter and decade of running in my life, and I'll likely find the very same gift of peace and clarity then as I do now. The steady stepping will carry me through seasons of packed snow, muddy puddles, hot roads, crunchy leaves. I'll hear in my mind, hymns to the beat of the run, answers to prayers, and sometimes nothing at all. Dusty trails, paved roads, and even the treadmill will continue to yield a brighter life experience in general if I am willing to always take one more step. It doesn't have to be fast or strong. Just one more step.

My happy time today? Remembering the blessings that come through effort in general.

My sad time? Remembering that the greater the blessing, the greater the required effort.